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Monday, February 14, 2011

What Am I Doing?

I've started to lose tracks of the days and countless nights passing by in the college world. I forget when, where, why, and how things happened. I've made and lost more friends than I've managed in my previous 19 years. #BornThisWay has come out, I've fallen in and out of love, I've had fights, barely passed classes, drank too much, and slept too much.... College.

So far so good, I'd say. I was in the ER last friday for a tempt of 104 degrees... crazy story really.. I woke up Friday and felt perfectly fine.. went to my Poetry class at 9 AM and started shivering a little bit. Thinking nothing of it, I blow it off as just being chilly... little did I know of what would happen next.


I left class immediately after the end and headed to my next class 10 minutes after. As I got there I realized my shivering had for-sure converted to shaking/convulsing... I spoke to the professor about leaving and was given permission to not stay in class. I headed to my room right after, shivering the entire way, feeling weaker and weaker as I took each step.

Once I returned to my dorm- things began to progressively get worse.. I began sweating and my entire body began to ache and hurt- every movement causing more pain than the last. Pain would surge through my body as I would lay down on the bed, feeling my entire body tingle with an aching pain. I wasn't sure if I should cry or feint, my entire head was boiling and my body was screaming. I took my temperature hoping I was over-reacting or being over-dramatic, but it turned out my temp was 102.. a temperature considers dangerous, but not lethal.

I dressed up for the freezing weather and proceeded to the student health center with the help of my friend. Focusing, let alone walking, proved challenging for me at the time. Once at the meeting I spoke with an attendant who promptly informed me of not getting into today because of not making an appointment earlier. I told her my symptoms and she brushed most of everything I said.. Once I told her my fever was "103" she allowed me to go talk to a nurse.

I might have fibbed a little bit... but it seems even a little white lie can "come true".

As she took my temp again, I felt like my body was on fire and my head was erupting. I lost the ability to speak coherently and my entire body was in pain. It turns out I did I lie to to attendant, my temperature was not 103- it was 104.5. Wonderful. At 105 there is a chance of having brain damage that could be permanent. She quickly gave me 4 advil and took the proper steps to treat my fever.

I don't really remember very much from my time in the student center, what I do recall encompassed me laying on a bed- aching and crying from the pain, feeling the tears evaporate as they grazed my cheek. The pain was practically unbearable.

After completing some lab work and tests, I did not have the Flu or Pneumonia. They had no idea what was wrong with me.

After their futile finds, a call was made and I was to be transferred to the ER. The rest of the story really isn't as exciting or thrilling. I was wheeled to the hospital. Uh oh.. talking about this story is making me feel a little heated. Yikes.

Yeah.. not feeling good. finish this later.

-My life in a nut shell.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

College.

I'm in College now. Already heart-broken, and breathing again.
I've been rather inspired lately....

Words seem to flow easier...

My heart seems a little lighter....

and all I want is to write what is racing through my gutless mind.



The good.
The bad.

I'm gonna write it all.

Just give me a moment to finish this drin- oh....
Yeah...
College.

-My life in a nut shell.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Far too long...

A great deal has happened since I've last posted.. A lot. Through the typical heartbreak moments to the joyous of times. In-fact, I have a journal full of entries over the past 3 months I'd love to post on here, granted that too will take a long time. It's at least 18 pages, back and front, so it will take over multiple posts. I'll try to put the dates up for these as I go, but those will also be for a future novel of mine- meaning I have a theme of not having dates, rather times instead. It should be interesting...

I must say, I'm relieved to see I didn't shut down this site again, like I had planned on doing, or thought I did. I would love to talk more, but I need to memorize some poetry for a contest coming up soon...

It's nice to be here again. Bye for now,
-My life in a nut shell

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Still here? Wow!

I won't lie to you. I assumed that this blog had been deleted by me a long time ago. But then again.. things you try to destroy never seem to stay destroyed. I have A LOT to update since my last post. So many things have happened.. Some many things are bound to happen.. And there are even more things i want to happen. I've been having a great time so far.. Slowly coming out to all of my friends and all of my family... Except my parents. They are the people I have yet to confront about my... agenda in life. It was a lot easier to tell my friends and family than previously expected. My friends still completely accept me, if not more for me coming to terms with who I am. My family.. Ahh my family.. They are absolutely amazing. I have an aunt who I can openly talk to about all of this! It's great! I even have a gay 2nd cousin (I call him my Uncle) and he is fabulous! ;). He is living with his partner who has the same name as him. Funny, eh? He has helped me so much.. A great person to talk to.. The bad part is that he lives 8 hours away and it's hard to find time to chat on the phone for as long as we'd like.

That is only the start of everything I need to talk about.
A list would look something like..

  1. I visited my family up-north. (Including Gay Uncle)
  2. Came out to my aunt.
  3. Went to gay pride.
  4. Came out to more people (Including my Best Friend, a guy)
  5. Made-out with a guy on a date.
That is only the start... Ciao!

-My life in a nut shell. <3

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Long Time Away!

So, I've been gone for quite some time.. I apologize for this. I have had a busy schedule.. *cough*... Okay, I won't lie to you, since you already know of me. Well, I've just been really lazy lately, gotten back into video games (CS:S). It's quite fun, well, and Maplestory. So addictive... Well.. I guess.. I don't remember what else to put here right now.. Lets talk about thanksgiving!

So, tons of foods, tons of drinks, and even more family! I love my family, they are great, but at the same time, it gets to be overwhelming if visited in great amounts. I don't really want to talk about my week/time away, it just is boring. Oh, btw. I've lost all interest in Tim.. Meh.. I never ended up telling him I liked him, he was just a bit cranky that day and I just didn't feel like it. Nor do I feel like giving him the feelings I once felt.. It's obvious they won't ever me mutual. Well... I don't really know what all to do.. I'll recap from my last post!

Halloween blood drive (Wow.. almost a month since i posted... or 2...).. It went well, except for the part that I fainted... twice. I felt like a drama queen and was extremely embarrassed.. I wasn't trying to miss class, it just happened. Ah well, either way, I don't want to care too much.. It was kinda fun to ride in those carrier things they put you on... Lol, I got to ride it twice! Even though I felt like crap. All the detail I feel like saying for now.

So, because I don't feel like recapping EVERYTHING that happened since my last post, I'll simply state yesterday and today.

"Glamorous Indie Rock and Roll is what I want... It's in my soul it's what I need.. Indie Rock and Roll it's time.." - Indie Rock and Roll/The Killers

Love that song.. Anyway. Yesterday was the KU vs MU game, absolutely amazing. I'm so happy the MU came out victorious, since that's the school I plan on going to :). It was also fun to rub it in my friends/family/cousins faces. But.. later that night.. My parents who had been drinking got into an argument with my sister who was drinking.. It was just all annoying and I could've cared less.. entirely... I got yelled at and lectured.. Just a bunch of drama I don't feel like remembering, since it would play like a movie in my head...

Today was nothing exciting.. Sat at home.. did chores.. thought about homework.. talked to friends.. ate food.. played games... thought about homework.. did some debate.. and that was about it. I really didn't feel like doing anything today, talk about R&R.

That's it for now, hope you enjoy the new layout as much as me :). Have a great day!

-My life in a nut shell.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Quick thing. Halloween.

Almost forgot. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

"Wherever it goes, I always know... You make me smile, please stay for a while, just take your time wherever you go." Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

-My life in a nut shell. :)

We've come so far, how will it end?

Well.. Everything has been working pretty well, my grades are getting better, my friendships are enduring, and I'm feel a bit positive. A little isolated, but you can't make everything perfect.... Song again.

"I'm waking up, at the start of the end of the world, but it's feeling like every morning before..."
How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20

I've heard this song on the radio so many times before.. I always forgot to go get it though! I'm glad I managed to do so. This song is so amazing.. So many emotions... So many feelings.. It's so real. One of those things hard to come across these days. ;).

So. Tuesday. I almost didn't blog today. Lack of want to... Also, I'm never home. Heh, my amazing excuses seem to be a bit redundant. Either way, I just need to get started blogging, 'cause once I start it's hard to stop! So, this morning was SO tiring. I mean.. Wow. I almost fell asleep! Well.. Asleep as in, while driving to school. Not safe, I know! But, I was tired! Got there.. I had to drop some stuff off in the Drama room, so I walked there, met Tim along the way, we walked together :). Not too much, I just wish he would like me.. But anyway, he had drama that 1st block too, so he came with me to drop my stuff off. It was kinda fun to talk to him about random stuff. He is really cool...

So.. I'm going to sum up today to get to my main point of todays blog. Geometry.. Time went by pretty fast, learned some formulas and stuff, did shape stuff, not much to say... English class, we presented our Hamlet Act thingies. It was.. Awkward funny.. But, not much other than me reading off a paper and falling to the ground with a skull in my hand. (FAKE of course!) So, Band!! WOO!! Concert Band is amazing. How it works after marching band is: we are divided into two bands, Symphonic (Good people), Concert (.... Others!). So, we played songs.. Really bad, then just chillaxed. Love that class.

Biology... I don't even know what we learned.. I fell asleep.. Hehe. I was wondering why time went by so fast during class when I looked at the clock, turns out i slept for about 40 minutes. I'm soooo good :).

MAIN POINT OF POST!!!

Alright people. This friday... Ally is having a movie party with a bunch of people.. Including Tim. I'm glad she is helping me get close to him, but that is beside the point! So. I will be.. telling him.. that I've had a crush on him.. ever since I met him 2 months ago.. Fast I know, but he makes my heart race when I feel like I've gone numb.. I feel emotions that have long been tucked away.. For example. I thought he was sad today, so I really wanted to make him happy, so I made him a picture! I dunno if he liked it.. But I hope so.. Anyway. I will be telling him that I like him... I'm so nervous.. You know.. That whole thing.. "I like you.. if you don't like me the same way I do to you, we can still be friends if you want.." Something like that.

Either way. HOLY SHIT. I'm scared. ALSO. TOMORROW is the Halloween blood drive! I'm giving blood! AHHH! I'm nervous, even if it is all for a good cause... Well, I need to get sleep to get my blood all.. happy? and stuff.. So... Yeah.. That's all!

So yeah.. That's all for now! Another blog from your gay teen :).

-My life in a nut shell.